Being a parent to a three year old is really tough sometimes. As David says "why is everything a chore with Ava?" Ava constantly wants to assert her independence and whines a lot (typical three year old behavior, right?). Ava refuses to take a nap sometimes even though she needs it and I need a break. Those are challenging days. There have been a few temper tantrums where Ava is crying/screaming for a while. I run through the whole good cop/bad cop routine of trying to calm her down by being nice, then I lose my patience and start counting to "3" and threaten her with time outs. After her tantrums, Ava will say "my head hurts" and it leads me to wonder if she is throwing a tantrum because of a headache or she got her headache from so much emotional distress. But this chicken or the egg conundrum is kind of beside the point when she is acting crazy and I start acting crazy. Honestly I feel like a psycho person battling with a three year old but I can't seem to stop being so stubborn. I keep thinking that I can't give in or else I will not be able to discipline or control her in any way. Sometimes I don't know how to handle these situations and I feel completely inadequate as a mother. I keep praying for more patience and maturity. Sometimes I have to remind myself that I am the adult and I need to act like one! One encouraging aspect about Ava's rants is that a lot of times she will say "I'm sorry I cried" or "I'm sorry I didn't listen to you" after she has calmed down a bit.
Now that I am not working, I don't get an official evaluation on how I am doing at my "job". I don't really have a boss telling me what I am doing well or what I am doing poorly as a mother. I keep a mental mommy scorecard because I guess I have a need to be evaluated. Please, someone, give me an evaluation! Basically I grade myself on certain aspects of motherhood. For example, I think I am flunking several aspects (i.e. combing Ava's hair, cleaning her face after eating breakfast so she doesn't look homeless, feeding her vegetables, and the list goes on). However, I give myself an "A" with the number of kisses and cuddles I give my babies.
I love being a mother. There is absolutely nothing I would rather be doing, but they weren't kidding when they said that it is the toughest job in the world (maybe except for cleaning public toilets...that to me is the toughest job in the world). As my children are growing, I hope I will grow as a person too.
2 comments:
AMEN SISTER!!! I totally agree with you on all aspects of parenting. I'm sure that when I have the windows open, my neighbors think I'm a screaming banshee, and that our kids are totally out of control (which is so far from the truth, it's funny.) As far as being a good mom/bad mom score, my thought is this: are my children generally happy? are they relatively well behaved? are they relatively clean; wearing clean underwear/ don't smell like a toilet, etc? if the answer to all the questions is "yes", then I give myself a "B" (I could always use some improvment.). If it's "well, it oculd be better", then I give myself an "A" for effort, and an overall "C" for the day. This helps stay positive and to focus on the forest instead of the trees. :) Hang in there; we're all in the same boat with these wonderful 3-year-olds!!!
I think Louise deserves an "A" for motherhood. You are an awesome mom, Louise, and don't ever forget it! Ladies at my book club recommend the book, "The Well Behaved Child" by John Rosemond. They say it is excellent for dealing with 2-3 year olds.
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